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I only dance to songs I like so I was sat down most of the night [Apr. 27th, 2011|01:45 am]
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Fuck it's one of those super fucking restless nights where nothing is appealing at all ever. I'm listless and weird and want to do something but have started EVERYTHING and find it impossible.

I shouldn't be allowed to be "between big projects" ever. It makes me totally useless. It's like I sent Jonesy off and now I've been sat here all fucking day waiting for it to be May so I can work on The Resurrectionists. Yet I know I NEED to be between projects or I'll go insane(er)--

Oh, you know what I need?

The Sims. Yeah. That.

If even that'll do it... might need to start a new town or something so I don't just start it up and turn it off (like I've done 1412 times with LotRO today.)

Must. Resist. Siren. Call. Of. Becca.
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turn yourself around, you weren't invited [Mar. 15th, 2010|02:11 pm]
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Hopelessly self-indulgent weekend, during which all I did was think about Plaguebringer (but not do anything about it, as it didn't seem all that pressing), have long rambly conversations with my husband about nothing, watch the new MST3Ks we got, and play LotRO. (Tom is 3/4 of a level from getting a horse. Yes, I'm easily amused. Thank Christ.)

It felt good, but it's time to light a fire under this motherfucker. This motherfucker being me.

In unrelated news, I still can't eat eggs. I had some at my parents' and they buy just regular eggs. As people who've been to my house know (don't talk about it usually, so it'd be hard to know otherwise), I am really neurotic about my eggs and dairy, and will only buy them if I know from where they came and that I'm okay with how they raise the animals. (You can argue this point with me all you like, but don't, because I don't care if you think it's dumb/pointless. Even if I could change this particular neurosis, I'm too old to give a fuck what anyone else thinks.) Balaji says this is because I don't like to buy sin.

I was aware of course that this sort of food tends to taste better than the mass produced chicken-in-a-1x1x1-cage kind-- better (god, oh god, vegetarian) chicken feed = better chickens = better eggs. Anyone who eats natural or organic meat will tell you the same thing-- it has flavor! Wtf!

But I ate an egg at my parents' anyhow, thinking I ought not to be a haughty bitch. (They already buy gelatin-free all natural sour cream because of me-- of course once they got it for my visit they realized it was actually much better and started buying it regularly.) And it was really, really gross. It had a weird consistency and tasted funny. I couldn't eat anything for the rest of the day apart from a bag of chips I forced down while driving home. And now every time I think about eating eggs I feel a little ill. Even the sin free kind.

I don't want to be the crazy person who brings her own food everywhere. I already take my own milk home (I don't even like milk, but I put it on cereal occasionally-- Nick drank it all last time, going "Man, this IS better!" Jerk) and am extremely weird about where I eat out. (Ate out at Chilis this weekend, first time at a place like that in ages. Was so sick-- our stomachs aren't used to junk food any more :/) Jesus fucking Christ, I get crazier every year.

Also, I realize I don't talk much about my food issues. But for anyone who doesn't know, I was actually vegan for a few years until the yogurt in Nepal knocked me off that. Now I'm just-- like this.
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we have ways of making you think [Dec. 21st, 2009|04:04 pm]
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We somehow survived the DC Snowpocalypse, though it was pretty fucking terrible. I chronicled it here in a very sanitized way. Goddamn that sucked... but at least I got to kick the 4Runner into 4WD low. Toyotas are pretty awesome, if anyone wonders. Thing handled like a pro in positively shit conditions.

But it was an incredibly stressful weekend, which I didn't mention there. Nothing got done, and I haven't been able to concentrate. Can't even concentrate today because my connection is being fucking awful, and I can't get my usual networking shit done properly. It took me 5 hours to do what should take me 1 today. This is unacceptable. One fucking thing I have to do-- the thing that keeps me connected to an incredibly fucking loose community that I happen to need very much-- and it's impossible with a shit connection. GAH.

Mmm I'm a bit angry still, I think. But my husband is here. And it's the solstice. Shortest day sounds good to me just about now.

I did play LotRO to avoid things, and though I was really only half there, I got to see Mirkwood. Which is the awesomest thing ever. I want a house there :/

Normal service to resume tomorrow. Today I still don't have the heart. I'd better go work out to get rid of some of this hate.
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or should I say she once had me [Feb. 26th, 2009|11:38 am]
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On the one hand I am grateful that Balaji called me this morning (and by "this morning" of course I mean 10am) and woke me up-- I don't want a repeat of last night and I don't want to have to take something to knock myself out. On the other, holy Jesus I am tired. I think I can get out another chapter of edits today but I get the feeling it's going to be a bit worthless when it comes to the rewrite plans.

In good news, after two weeks of polite fighting with EA's customer service, I can finally reinstall my stupid H&M stuff pack. My download had expired so get this, the fucking EA download manager thing wouldn't LET me reinstall it from the saved files I had. So every time I need to reinstall on some new computer I have to go through this? Grrrrreat. Anyhow, it's all there now, so fuck it (for the moment)! But it does lead me to believe that I should no longer buy games from them that way. I mean what if in ten years I want to reinstall the old Sims and play it? (Okay, not fucking likely, but hang on, I've PAID for them all!) Yeah.

I need a new computer anyhow, possibly for my birthday or Xmas depending... but it'll be one that can run The Sims 3 anyhow :D

Also, it is disturbing what you notice when casually reading the back of a box while waiting for the oven to preheat. So I'm reading the Original Gardenburger (still the best!) box last night and I see that it has less calories (100) than the bun on which I'm about to put it (170). That strikes me as wrong. And now I know why I never read the backs of boxes, I just eat what doesn't make me feel like hell.

Speaking of which, Special K protein water, god help me, is actually good. I'm not sure if I bought the little mixes because I've been on a binge to eat better after India (which left me feeling stuffed full of ghee and rice... dude. Ugh.) or if I was just attracted by the appeal of not having to get up in the middle of the afternoon and find a snack. I invariably want to gnaw my arm off around 5pm every day for no good reason and I get really annoyed. But now I can just drink water that tastes like kool aid and I feel better! Either way, it's the lazy/obsessive writer's dream. It's bad enough I have to interrupt myself for lunch. Damn.

Yeah that was all really exciting. Anyhow. I'd better get some damn coffee.
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I’m only going to heaven if it feels like hell [Feb. 10th, 2009|10:50 pm]
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I did my usual flogging of cool stories today on the author blog (or follow along with [info]kvtaylor or the livejournal updates, even though you'd still have to go to the proper blog to respond... oh whatever, what's the point if I can't shamelessly self-promote? Wanna be a writer, better fucking get used to doing it!), but I want to seriously recommend these two flash pieces (yes, that means short) to EVERYONE:

1. Trapped by NK Kingston. Nat neglected to post this to [info]the_literatzzi, so I'm being a jerk and doing it here. Mwahahaha. Nice to see another of our own, no? Plus, god this thing is freaky. (Oh hi elevator issues. *shudder*)


2. The Fall of Azaliel and Lorcas by Michael Stone. (Same one who wrote Fourtold.) It's like... Good Omens on crack, but bite sized. Angels in a bottle. Hilarious and creepy as fuck.

Seriously, they're both short and great fun. And creepy.

I spent part of today texting Tara about how much we love playing Harvest Moon. When I saw her at my parents' over Xmas I showed it to her and so of course she had to get it herself. Now we trade tips about how to get the right dude to marry you and which crops are best to grow. Wow, we are so predictably nerdy. Why is a farming simulation game fun?

I don't know, but it is.

Also, work!

So developing the merc idea is going surprisingly well. No, nothing written, but I'm thinking about doing a very limited PoV and using the sort of New Guy on that one, Jamis, who gets his promotion thanks to this little adventure. Which I've lifted partially from PG Wodehouse, I think. Not sure how this can possibly end well, but I guess that's the point. So anyhow, mostly just working on the voice in my head and trying to see how I want to play with him. He has a sort of sideline bit in the books, but that's why I want to use him here. No commitment, no matter what I do later.

I think this might actually work, though. So that's good news!

Still falling off to sleep a little earlier than I'd like though, so no work gets done in the evenings right now. Working on that though. Really.

Hmm okay, so sorry non IJ people who might stop by-- you get the writing update today too, which is normally f-locked. But I'm too tired/lazy to make two entries.

I can't get Franz Ferdinand's Can't Stop Feeling out of my head. It's been there all damn day. God, why are they so brilliant and catchy? WHY?!
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Say whatever you have to say [Jan. 8th, 2009|12:53 pm]
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I'm reformatted, driver'd up, and the only real casualties are my old emails/address book, my sims saved game (post-October, anyhow), and my iTunes playcounts/lists. The first and the third are pretty big deals, and annoying as fuck...

But at the same time it's kind of nice to just start over.

I actually managed to set up Thunderbird to check my RSS feeds instead of doing it with the crappy google sidebar (which I'm not sure I really want back anyhow-- been meaning to do this for ages and just never bothered... hell, that means I have to redo this journal to fit the whole screen now!), and once I get my server info from Becca to set up my kvtaylor account to check from there, I think I'm done. For serious.

And I think I might just start over with my Sims instead of using the rollback data from October, my last big backup. San Giuseppe is dead, man. Time to move on to a new and exciting neighborhood, which I shall create as soon as I'm bored enough to need another Sim fix. The lists of who was dating whom so I didn't cause irrational Sim Jealousy and break up marriages on accident were getting a little excessive anyhow. Plus was well into my third generation. It was a bit much.

Yes, I really have those lists, too. In a notebook.

Also, my bookmarks are toast. I tried to get the mozilla data but by the time I got there the pc was shutting down every few minutes even in safe mode, so it was a bust. That's mostly a pain in the ass when it comes to all the research crap I had bookmarked... but I'm sure I can find it again when the time comes. Always been easier to just start over than actually clean those fuckers out anyhow. And then there are all the bookmarked plot/character entries in this journal, which served as a very important reminder of what the fuck I'm doing with all this shit I make up...

Gonna have to hunt those all down today before I go crazy. Also: If you have files with me, never fear-- they were stored on a separate hard drive that appears to be completely uninfected-- it was just my Windows drive that got fucked. Pretty sure this must've come from some kind of online std from one of the random sites I clicked trying to research blacksmithing and gunpowder the other day :/ Fuck. (It wasn't even something like porn. I'm so fucking lame, dude.)

But yeah. I think everything's cool. Almost. Amazing what kind of upheaval occurs in your life when you lose a few little bits of data.

But in wholly exciting and sweet news, I have tickets to see Primal Scream in March! I think I even talked Reenie into coming (yeah, it didn't actually require effort, because dude, Primal Scream!) *dance*
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I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm doing it anyway [Dec. 26th, 2008|05:04 pm]
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I'm not sure what this is, but people keep getting cute dragons and I totally want one. So I think if you guys do me a favor and click on these eggs once each and go to their little page, they'll grow up and I'll have... dragon-hatchlings or something. As opposed to dead dragon eggs, which would be kind of sad.

I mean... dragons. I probably need a few of those. Just in case of emergencies.

Adopt one today! Adopt one today!
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and make believe with you [Aug. 20th, 2008|10:55 pm]
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[Current Mood | amused]

DDR is getting crazy 80s songs stuck in my head. And my legs hurt. Waaaa!

Last week on Ghost Hunters International they went to Elizabeth Bathory's castle in Hungary and I was all excited because I mention it in Giuseppe's story. (Which I just kind of wrote down right before I watched that GHI.) Briefly, but it's one of the folklore things he's amused to find exist very vividly in the indigenous population's imagination when he goes, and with which Cassandra is particularly fascinated.

Then this week, just now, they did Vlad Tepes's actual fortress/castle in Transylvania.

(Giuseppe is all a-flutter. In his odd nerdy way.)

There, see I managed to make a normal post about something and not be all moody and dismal. Except that I talked almost entirely about people who tortured and killed, or drink a lot of blood... or bathed in it, in one case. Oh Lady Bathory, you're the best!
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they keep callin' me [Aug. 7th, 2008|12:50 pm]
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I stayed up way too late last night, even for me, watching Control. Reenie said it was actually good, so I queued it up last week. (I kinda thought it would be cool, and was a bit excited about it, but was content with the soundtrack until I had a real opinion. I couldn't have sat through a BAD movie about Joy Division/Ian Curtis.) And it was. As she noted, not the most compelling story ever told, but well told anyhow. I almost caught myself sympathizing with the Awesome 4-Real sometimes. Not even close to a crying movie, but it's a pretty big thing to make someone so fucking mental even remotely understandable.

Mostly it was cool to get a look back at the whole scene and Factory records and all that. And listening to the bass player complaining that he wouldn't stand for being called a Buzzcock, because it's like calling yourself a cock. "I don't mind the buzz..."

Haha, get it?

Right. So I'm a nerd, and not like you're surprised. Anyhow, guess I'll have to listen to Joy Division all day to get them out of my brain. It seems like such a bad omen to wake up with Dead Souls in your head.

I've given up on getting a WiiFit by my birthday. They're just too hard to come by and we live a lot further from Best Buy than we did when we stumbled across our Wii back then. So I'm going to suck it up and get Dance Dance Revolution.


I bought Final Fantasy XI from the IGN download site. I figured hey, that'll be faster than going out and getting it. But no. I've downloaded it about six times now, and EVERY TIME something fucks up. A SEVEN HOUR DOWNLOAD. I've done ALL the troubleshooting stuff, so if it doesn't work this last time, fuck it. Going for a refund. Going to Best Buy, even if it is all the way out in BFE.

Also: Those fuckers pushed Harvest Moon back two weeks, so now it's not out 'til the middle of September. NOT ON MY BIRTHDAY.

Ah well. Still pre-ordered. Comes with a little plush cow, even. Yeah, don't be jealous.
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and all the good girls are home with broken hearts [Jul. 31st, 2008|12:40 pm]
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I'm extraordinarily fucking obnoxious this week, as it turns out. I mean, I should've seen it coming since I spent two weeks straight with PEOPLE, but they were people I love and find it easy to be with. Still, it's not normal for me to spend more time with real people than head people and it's a constipator. It disturbs my shit and that irritates me. (/Dead Like Me)

Still, it was a wonderful couple of weeks in spite of Balaji being gone, which was the most important thing. And it would not have been without my family. So please don't think I mean to complain, because I really, really do not.

I only mean to explain that I'm extraordinarily fucking obnoxious and in retreat-- so if you talk to me and I'm weird that's my excuse. I'm always weird (and obnoxious) so I'm sure it won't matter, but you get my point! No, I'm not feeling sorry for myself or anything (what's to feel sorry about... like ever?), but I'm just a dick in general. More than usual.

I've seen the final final pdf of my story/bio/afterword for Voices today (I had an earlier version when I came home, before I'd written the afterword for Mark the Editor-- he already has it all fixed and sorted out!) and dude. Pretty cool.

But my brain is backed up. And I don't mind. So back to playing the Sims!

(The worst thing is that I've already pre-ordered Harvest Moon for the Wii, which comes out on my birthday as I've mentioned before, but that'll mean I'll need to take ANOTHER break because... god, who knew a farming simulation game could be so fucking rad?)
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when you turn the lights out think of me [Jul. 13th, 2008|11:35 pm]
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[Current Music |The Sims 2 College Rock track (what, it's good in Simlish!)]

As predicted, the Summer Insanity began in earnest with the 4th. My uncle Dan was up here with his two youngest for a swim meet this morning, so they hung out with met his afternoon and we got Chipotle (and called my mom to taunt her that we were eating guacamole and she WASN'T. I've never seen my mom scarf like she does on the Chipotle Guac.) So I got a voicemail from Mary (his oldest) tonight that said, "So my dad said you're not doing anything this week, and you live really close now. I have the next few days off and wondered if you wanted a visitor."

So the good news is that my plan to go into the District on Tuesday (I have a hankering for the National Gallery, or maybe one of the Smithsonian buildings) will have company, 'cause Mary's coming to stay! I think she'll be here 'til Wednesday morning, but maybe just Tuesday evening since she has to work Wed. Either way, I shall be scarce. This is extra good since I've not seen her in nearly a decade except that one night of the 4th, so it should be awfully rad. (Yes, I do look forward to visitors, thank you very much!)

Good timing because the other anthology I subbed to at the same time as the Voices one for Morrigan is sending out rejections as of this weekend. A few people at the forums have said they got theirs on Friday, I think it was. No news is good news, but... yeah. Nice to have someone to hang out with!

But then my parents come on Thursday Night so... yep. No productivity. It's okay though, so long as I iron out the rest of Oubliette before I go to WV with them I don't mind. That way, if I time it properly, when I come back my only real concern will be Vampires! VAMPIRES! YAY!

Also, I have played nine hours of Fire Emblem - Radiant Dawn in the last two days. Well, two and a half, really. No, I swear. It's so good, but I always make up stories about the characters when I start to get bored by the long battles :/ I think it's by the same people who did Brigandine though, so no shock there. I totally loved those characters! The only problem I have with this game is that you don't get to keep the same character throughout the storyline, so you get them all sorted out and pimped and then you have to go on to the next chapter without them. This is why I prefer Heroes of Might and Magic IV to V, actually, as well. If I want an Strategy/RPG, I want it to be all... you know. RPish!

[Apologies for mingled writing rant in with the RL stuff-- normally I keep that shit f-locked but it didn't seem like enough to make a separate post for.]

EDIT: Is it weird-- not that I'm listening to the Sims 2 College Rock radio track right now, that's to be expected-- but that I actually know the Simlish lyrics :/ I might play that game too much. Maybe. (Laura, if you're reading this, I know you feel me.)
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